I like to think that being an ultrarunner means that everyone is in complete awe of my achievements.

 

Yeah I say…..”just a short one last weekend… Yeah that’s right….- 50… Yeah miles”.

 

They say “OMG. I can’t believe you did that. I can’t even run 5km”

 

I counter, with a knowing grin… “Of course….. And you never will as long as you play with bloody metric… Imperial is where it is at. Runners do imperial. That. Is. All.”

 

Sometimes I think I only started to do ultras so I didn’t have to explain “yes….. I am doing Brighton marathon….. Yes… It is a full marathon…. Yes . 26.2 miles….. As all marathons are.”

 

Now people say…. “50 miles….. That is like two full marathons….. Almost….. But not quite….. How long will that take you (mental calculation ….. Uncle Fred said 4 hours was a good time for a marathon, that’s what he said he was going for at London…. So if I double that…. That’s 8 hours… And uncle Fred only just started running, and phil runs a lot….. And it isn’t even two full marathons…. So I better say something like 7 hours 30 minutes”
Yeah right….. Yeah buster. You forgot it is on trail…… And it’s hilly….. And a few stops for sausage rolls, chocolate, wotsits, bacon fries, ham sandwiches – yes white bread… And that I’m not running 8 min mile pace…..yeah that’s right…. I’m going to take a bit longer… Probably 12 hours. Or 13. Or maybe 15 who knows.